When Ethan first died and I felt good enough to leave the house, I went straight to the library and picked up as many books as I could on grief and baby loss. They helped me understand that every crazy thought and feeling I was having was absolutely normal. They taught me that I was not depressed, I was grieving and that was okay. I knew from reading them that as dark as the days were, there would be light again.
But the book I have chosen for this topic is a book called Curly from Shirley. It is a book that my amazing, talented cousin, Emma Pullar, wrote. Emma used to live in Christchurch, New Zealand, where all of those horrible earthquakes were. She wanted to help out so she wrote a children's book and all of the profits go to helping. I just read that it has raised over one million dollars!!
Emma mailed me this book when she heard about Ethan. In no way am I comparing a dead baby to an earthquake, but having the book and knowing that so many people went through such a ridiculously hard time helped.
The people of Christchurch are rebuilding. Or have rebuilt. And they will never be who they were before. Which is the exact same as Mark and I. We have to rebuild ourselves, our family. We will never be the same without Ethan. He was loved and so wanted. But we have to rebuild.
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