Capture Your Grief. Day 6. Ritual.

Much like I don't like the idea of grief having a legacy, I don't like the thought of grief creating any rituals.  But I suppose it is all interwoven, isn't it?  Without grief, I wouldn't feel the need to create a legacy for Ethan.  Without grief, we wouldn't need any rituals.

Our most important ritual?

Before we go anywhere at all, the cottage for the weekend, a road trip, to friends' houses, etc., we make sure that we have put Ethan's remains, and everything else that is priceless (my positive pregnancy test, ultrasound pictures, the gift we gave out at my shower, the measuring tape marking his head size and length, his footprints, his handprints, the cremation certificate) into our fire proof safe.  

Sounds a bit strange, putting ashes into a fireproof safe. But I really don't know if I could handle it if anything happened to "him".  I know that it's not really him, but it is all we have left of him.

We always expected that the baby would mean that we had to change our pre-trip planning, but we never imagined it to be like this.