Capture Your Grief. Day 10. Beliefs.

When I was pregnant with Ethan, I was so worried that we would have yet another miscarriage.  Every single time I was worried, one of us would see a rainbow.  And I really did believe it was a sign that everything would be okay.  In fact, we saw so many reassuring rainbows that we decided the baby's middle name would be Rayne or Raine...

Then Ethan died.

And then I find out that a baby born after the loss of a pregnancy is called a "rainbow baby".

Ethan was supposed to be our rainbow baby.  Even before we knew what a rainbow baby was.

But Ethan died.  

So what am I supposed to believe?