Sunrise

I didn't wake up for the sunrise on day 1. I meant to but C was sick so we slept in. I remember missing it last year too. And the year before. I can't believe this is my third October / my third Thanksgiving without my son. Ugh.

Instead of a sunrise I posted a tree with its leaves changing. I figured sunrise is the start of a new day like the leaves changing is the start of a new season.

I hope this season sees me able to spend more time with my son. I have said it before, C is all encompassing. My life is her. But she is getting older and requires a bit less hands on attention.

I don't remember the sunrise on the day Ethan was born. I don't even remember if my hospital room had a window. I guess when you go to the hospital expecting to finally meet your baby but then he dies and you don't get to bring him home,  it makes details a bit fuzzy.

I do know that now I appreciate sunrises  (and sunsets) a lot more than I used to. I stop and look at the beauty of nature.

I also can't believe that my son died but the sun still rises. My world came crashing down but everything else kept on going, like a normal day.

I'm a bit all over the place today. These are just my random thoughts on the sunrise.