Sunday, 14 May 2017

Mother's Day 2017

This is my fifth mother's day.
This is my fifth mother's day without my son.
This is my fifth mother's day without my son who made me a mother.

How do you celebrate that? How do you honour your own motherhood when the one who made you a mum is dead and gone?

This is also my third mother's day. My third mother's day with my living child. My heart, my soul, my entire reason for living.

It is such a confusing, contradictory day. I am so happy to have my living child who calls me "mum mum" every day. I am so devastated that the one who made me a mum will never call me, ever.

My family is always missing a special piece. Until my sweet heart is old enough to fully do her own cards, hubby always writes "💜 c & e"... How am I going to feel when she picks out her own card and signs her own name?

He made me a mum. And nothing, not even death, can take that away.

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