And so what should be my son's 4th birthday passes by quietly and I somehow survive it. Just like I survive every other single day without him. We didn't really do anything special this year. We went to the cottage for some R&R, visited with some great friends and had some cake.
Years ago we got lots of messages of love on Ethan's birthdays. We still got a lot but not nearly as many as we used it. It feels fitting. The lessened amount of messages. Him not being here is part of our daily lives. Some days hurt far more than others. But it is our norm. All day. Every day. And we don't talk about him with other people as much.
It still hurts. We still miss him all the time. And wonder how he would be. What would he like? Would he be funny? Shy? A good brother to Chlo?
This whole babyloss thing sucks. Ho hum
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