Guilt

I miss Ethan like crazy.  Every time I see a baby commercial.  Every time I see a cute outfit.  All day, every day.

But when I feel happy for anything else, I am plagued with guilt.  Plagued.  I don't know how to stop it.  If I am excited about anything, I feel terrible guilt that Ethan isn't here.  That some how I have not included him.  And so I cry. 

I don't know how to resolve this.