Capture Your Grief. Day 14. Family

Mark and I will always have an Ethan-sized hole in our family. He is our family. And he isn't here.  No matter if we have future children or not.  He will always be missing.  Always.  I wish that people could understand that.  That even though I write that on Facebook that people would let it sink in.  When my grandma died, she didn't stop being my grandma, or my mom's mom.  Ethan will always be my son.  He will always be part of our family.  And I will ALWAYS miss him.  In good times and in bad times.  He will always be missing.  It infuriates me that people don't get that.

As to the rest of my family... we all know that I have the world's best brother. Hearing my brother refer to Ethan as his nephew makes my heart sing. Having my brother tell me that he misses Ethan... again, World's Best Brother. And my parents are amazing too. They know that I am not a hands-on type griever. I like to be alone and they give me that space. But I also have the world's best auntie. My Aunt Frannie went to France and while there, she thought about Ethan! She got me that hand painted Ethan painting, along with a bunch of other amazing Ethan things...

And then there is my family who aren't technically my family... all of my amazing friends. My twitter friends, each of you has done something to help me through this horrible time.  I don't know where I would be if I didn't have you guys to talk to.  To have someone on call at all hours of the day from all around to world to cry to, bitch to, etc. You really are my family.

I am SO incredibly angry that my family will always be missing my handsome little guy. But I am so thankfully that "my family" is amazing.

 

 

A special thank you shout out to our amazing friends Jenny and Mike for giving us some Ethan stones.  They are one of our most treasured gifts and we love them.